Random Ramblings

Unexplained Rambling

2009-04-09T13:44:00.000-07:00

My mind is full of so many thoughts it's impossible to put them to words. I haven't blogged for months and I have no idea why I am blogging right now but never the less here I am.

I am so full of Anger and Fear right now. I want to scream but I know it won't do anything. I'm scared to say anything, scared to speak it aloud and most of all just scared. I know I can't stay like this for long and it's time to move on and just keep going so I will...not sure what the next move is or what is going to happen but I suppose I'll figure it out. What option do I have then to keep moving forward.

Livestrong!

Writing - A Passion of Mine

2008-11-24T08:15:00.001-08:00

I'm not sure why but I have been on a bit of a writing kick lately. I suppose it is due to the fact that I have a million thoughts always running through my brain and I have a fiery need to write them down and share them with others. There is just something about putting your thoughts into words.

Ink on paper is as beautiful to me as flowers on the mountains; God composes, why shouldn't we? ~Audra Foveo-Alba

I share this quote with you because I feel the same. Writing something down, creating words in a beautiful arrangement is something I feel everyone should do. When I hear someone say "I can't write" it breaks my heart. Writing isn't something you have to be great at, isn't something everyone should love. It is something you do for yourself. You write down thoughts, put them into words and rather it comes out as a Michelangelo master piece or a preschoolers refrigerator art it is a beautiful and amazing thing. It is something that is stored and saved forever, something that you can always have to look back on.

I was recently searching through old boxes looking for something when I found myself lost in one particular box. It was a box full of writings from my younger years. It included a notebook from 6th grade full of letters exchanged between a friend and I, a Book of Poems that I wrote when I was in the first grade, a journal I kept when I was in my "Write every thought I can think of phase" and even a Play about a family from 9th grade. As I looked through the notebooks and sheets of paper that contained words I put together I smiled. Amazed and the simplicity yet extraordinary work I had put together.

So now with this post I suppose I challenge everyone, if you have something that was written by you many years ago pull it out and read it. Smile at your writing then and enjoy the amazement of it. Then grab a pen and paper, or even get on the computer and blog about something. Blog about your day, about your thoughts, about anything. Rather your writing it for anyone to see or just for yourself write.

The Music in Me

2008-11-18T06:04:00.000-08:00

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~ Berthold Auerbach

How often do you take the time to listen to music? Do you turn it on while you’re doing your everyday chores? Does it play in the car while you’re driving from place to place? Do you blast it from your computer while you’re Myspacing or Blogging? Do you take time to sit and do nothing but listen while your favorite song plays?

In 2005 research was conducted to answer the question “Does Classical music make babies smarter?”

Numerous studies conclude that playing music to babies in the womb and in the early years helps build the neural bridges along which thoughts and information travel. And research suggests it can stimulate the brain's alpha waves, creating a feeling of calm; a recent study of premature infants found that they were soothed by the music.

And what about playing music? Does learning the piano, guitar, Cello, or any other instrument help you in life?

“Experience with music appears to help with many other things in life, potentially transferring to activities like reading or picking up nuances in tones of voices or hearing sounds in a noisy classroom better.” –Nina Kraus [Neuroscientist at Northwestern University]

So why does Music hold so much power? Why does it help you cry when nothing else could? Why does it allow for expression when nothing else does?
My IPod is one of my favorite possessions, it is always with me and always playing music. I call it my lifeline, my everything. It keeps me going when I’m down, allows me to feel when I’m numb and to sing when I’m bored. When I am asked what my favorite song is my answer usually sums up to “I could never pick just one, my favorite song changes from day to day because I’m always listening to new music, maybe I could give you my top 5 for the day.” So now I will share a few of my favorite songs with you.

The Fear You Won’t Fall – Joshua Radin
It hasn’t felt like this before
It hasn’t felt like home before you
And I know it’s easy to say
but it’s harder to feel this way
And I miss you more then I should
More then I thought I would
Can’t get my mind off of you

Love is – Hope
If you feel your hope is gone
Don’t you even think of falling
If you feel your strength is gone
Don’t give up the sun will shine in

Keep me in your heart – Warren Zevon
If I leave you it doesn’t mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for a while
When You get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for awhile

Keep From Singing – SheDaisy
How can I keep from singing
My life flows on in endless song
Through all the tumbles and the stride
I hear the music ringing
It finds an echo in my soul
How can I keep from singing
All things are mine since I am his
How can I keep from singing
Since Christ is lord of Heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing

My Guardian Angel [The Acoustic Song] – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
When I see your smile tears run down my face I can’t replace
And now that I’m strong I have figured out how this world turns cold
And it breaks through my soul And I know I’ll find,
deep inside me I can be the one
I will never let you fall, I’ll stand up for you forever
I’ll be there for you through it all even if saving you sends me to heaven

The Death of me – City and Colour
Do I have nothing good left to say
Do I need whiskey to start feeling my complaints
People love to drink their troubles away
Sometimes I feel I would be better that way
Because maybe then I could sleep at night
My nerves will be the death of me I know

I know this list doesn’t give justice to even half of the songs I listen to on a daily basis but it’s a start. So my challenge for today…Leave me a comment telling me what your favorite songs are and of course take the time to sit and listen to something great! Soak it in and just enjoy the beauty in sound.

Without music life would be a mistake. ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Layouts, Weekend & Thoughts

2008-11-09T18:01:00.001-08:00

I have now decided that I am more into changing the layout on this blog then the actual blogging. I just finished creating layout number 3 in photo shop. I guess the only thing I can say is that I'm addicted =]

I don't have any amazingness to speak of today. My weekend was a fun one actually. I spent Friday night with some awesome friends. We hung out and had a great time. Saturday I got to know a new friend better and just spent the evening talking. And now it's Sunday, Started the morning cleaning then of course lunch with family at my parents house then just a quiet evening relaxing at home.

I think this weekend has left me feeling enlightened. I love the good conversations I have with friends. Talking about life, death, and the things between. Last night I had an AMAZING conversation with a new friend. It was sad, but at the same time, powerful. Feeling like the people you've loved and lost are still there with you. That they are there guiding you through your life. I pretty much love that feeling. It has a subtle sadness, but at the same time it just makes you feel like you're never alone. Ever. It has to be one of the best feelings ever. There is just something completely amazing about the knowledge that we are not alone, that we will never be alone and that there is always something more. Through life and through death we will keep on living together.

Tag Your It!!

2008-11-02T11:16:00.000-08:00

Tag... Your It...I guess I got tagged from Whipple. She tagged anyone who wanted to do it and I don't have anything else to do so why not :)

1. Where is your cell phone? Sitting on my laptop
2. Where is your significant other? Far Far away
3. Your hair color? Pretty Burnett right now though I am talking of coloring it
any ideas?
4. Your mother? Is awesome and lives in Texas...never see her enough.
5. Your Father? is the bomb digity
6. Your favorite thing? I'll go with My dog and my IPod
7. Your dream last night? I don't remember dreaming...didn't sleep long enough I suppose
8. Your dream/goal? To go back to Denmark I guess
9. The room you're in? Living room
10. Your hobby? Photo shop...I'll post some stuff later
11. Your fear? Breaking too much
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? I guess I just want to be happy and moving forward
13. Where were you last night? Went to see movie with my brother
14. What you're not? Famous
15. One of your wish list items? Ooh I would have to say a Lexus
16. Where you grew up? Idaho and Wyoming mostly
17. The last thing you did? Stole this off of Jenn's blog.
18. What are you wearing? Sunday comfy clothes
19. Your T.V? Holes
20. Your pet? Puppy
21. Your computer? Have a Dell & a Vaio Laptop
22. Your mood? Exhausted
23. Missing someone? Pretty much
24. Your Car? Is White
25. Something you're not wearing? Socks & Shoes
26. Favorite Store? CD World, Barnes & Noble & Hot Topic
27. Your Summer? Was uneventful
28. Love someone? Family
29. Favorite color? Red and Black
30. Last time you laughed? Yesterday
31. Last time you cried? Today

I tag anyone who reads my blog =]

Don't forget to Vote!!

Yes We Can

2008-11-02T11:10:00.000-08:00

Don't forget to Vote!

Confusion

2008-10-29T16:50:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is "Halloween day" at my work. Every year each department chooses a theme and goes all out in decorations and costumes. Then on the chosen Halloween day around 1,500 kids come through excited to see what was created and of course to get lots of candy. To prepare for this event My coworkers and I spent all day putting together a giant pirate ship as well as many other Peter Pan decorations. Exhausted and burned out I am now home attempting to download all the songs I can find from Disney's Peter Pan and finish up my Pirate costume. Between downloading music and playing with my dog I decided it was time to get on again and post another blog.

My thoughts lately have been confusing and muted to a point where I am unable to realize conclusions or even understand what is going on inside of my head. I have been worried about a good friend of mine, worried about my puppy and I suppose just worried in general. Actions I often take frighten me and leave me wondering what is what and where I am going. I am happy with my job, I love it honestly. At home I am still trying to find where I belong. I have my own apartment and at times enjoy the solitude but most often find myself lonely. My puppy helps, he loves me and brings me companionship when it is most needed. I am working on learning, working on growing. Each day if i choose becomes a trial and an adventure. I look for the little things, the things that make me smile. I listen to my favorite songs, create goodness in Photo shop and most of all I see my Nieces whenever it's possible. I love their hugs, love how they accept me unconditionally. I enjoy the conversation and time spent with them and my sister. When doing these things the confusion goes away, I feel safe and I feel okay.

This blog is full of random thoughts, doesn't have much of a point other then the items running through my brain typed out. Enjoy the reading...or not.

The Start of Something New

2008-10-19T09:25:00.000-07:00

Growing up I have always been a huge writer. I use to carry a notebook around with me
everywhere I went writing down every thought I had. I was passionate into Poetry making children stories, sharing thoughts and forming words into beauty. As I grew older and life started I began to lose the passion for writing. My notebooks found drawers, my mind swifted to work, living, and other things. I was recently promoted at work, with this promotion I found new knowledge, new learning, & new responsibilities but also within all of this I found a new friend.
She has encouraged me to share my thoughts, to find those small passions and to stay strong through everything that flies around me.
Within this new happening in my life I have decided to start a blog. I can't promise to post often, I can't even promise you will enjoy what I'm writing. I will write for me, thoughts, opinions, and even random ramblings.